The Moon, A Star and Shower Stalls
by JadeWerewolf
Summary: Title may change. Marauder era. Slash. Sweet sad and it took about an hour to write. Please R&R!


Disclaimer: No own, no money, no sue. That is that.  
  
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Remus looked back at the pale slip in the sky that was the moon. The light shone down on his face. There were unspoken rules that he had broken. Unseen lines that he had crossed. 'He never promised anything to you.' He thought to himself. 'And yet he gave me everything.' The cresent moon seemed to stare back. "Aye," it seemed say to him, "There was never a more ready man to give than Sirius Black." The thought brought no comfort.  
  
The Dogstar shone brighter than the moon that night. Sirius Black looked down from Gryffindor Tower to see Remus staring at the moon. He had been walking and it seemed that a thought occured to him. He stopped and stared. And Sirius stared at him from above, throught the window. He hadn't really intended to fall in love with Remus. And he hadn't intended Remus to fall in love with him. It was a just an expoloring thing. Just to find out his own sexuality. Sirius had used his best friend and then left him when he thought that he was falling for him. It had been too late by then. He was head over heels and wouldn't admit it. Even to himself. He still had his girlfriends, of course. But he was using them too... How many people had he actually used in his entire lifetime?  
  
Remus began to walk back to the castle. He drew his cloak around him. It was chilly without Sirius. Without his warm body so close to his... 'Stop it.' He thought to himself. His eyes flickered to the sky every so often, glaring at the Star. The only star he could see. He walked into the warm castle and immediatly felt empty. His pace slowed as he wandered the corridors. He wasn't ready to face him yet. No, not yet. Remus felt too alone and drained to cry. How could Sirius do such a thing? 'But,' he thought, 'I suppose its better this way. Sirius won't have to be tied down and I don't have to take a chance of hurting him somehow.' His footsteps echoed eerily, and it made him long for the warmth and comfort of his bed. Quickly, he pivoted and began to walk the stairs to the Tower.  
  
Sirius was never one to brood. Life was too exciting to brood. There were so many other things he could be doing than brooding. James even noticed the difference. Sirius was moping in corners and happened to be at that very moment. He hated himself for using Remus. Remus who forgave him the second he said he didn't want to be in a relationship. Remus who still was his friend. Remus who he lo-- no he wouldn't think it. 'I do NOT love my best *guy* friend.' he inwardly screamed. He looked out the again. All he saw was amber. The amber of Remus' eyes. So unnatural but beautiful in it's own way. 'Stop thinking like that. You're NOT in love with him.' Then he remembered how Remus' eyes would light up when he walked into the room. Even if he was trying to ignore it and read. And then Sirius would kiss and it he knew he-- 'STOP!' He buried his face in his arms and reasted his head on his knees. He knew that he had gone scarlet with shame and felt tears stinging his eyes. He would not be seen like that.  
  
Remus entered Gryffindor Tower but did not go to the dormitory. He sat down on a puffy chair and remembered the time Sirius had first kissed him. It had been Christmas break, two years before. They were only fifteen at the time. He had been sitting in this very chair and all the magnificent boy did was walk into the empty common room, hair sweeping elegantly across his face and brushed his lips against Remus's. Unwillingly, he smiled at the memory. The two of them alone in the Common room, kissing passionatly all night. He remembered how the glow of the fire flickered in the dark man's eyes. Those fathomless eyes that semed to devour him. Remus could drown in eyes like that. He knew he already had though. He was drowning and Sirius wouldn't come to save him.  
  
'That relationship meant nothing to you. You don't love him.' Sirius told himself for the millionth time that night. He lay down in his bed and wondered when Remus would be coming. 'Didn't I just see him a half an hour ago, walking to the castle?' Then, 'You're only worried in a friendly manner. He's just a friend.' With growing frustration he lept out of bed and sat in the windowsill. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to want Moony, this way. He shouldn't have to dream about his eyes and the way his hair falls into his face. But he couldn't help admitting that he was beautiful.  
  
Remus soon grew very weary, not just physically, mentally an headed up the boy's staircase. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. At least sleep could rid him of his own detestable company for a few hours. Silently, he opened the door. Sirius was curled up in the windowsill and didn't show any sign of realizing that Remus had just entered the room. 'He's lovely.' Remus sighed to himself. He pulled his cloak off and Sirius's head jerked upward. He nodded and went back to gazing out the window. 'He really does feel that way. Not even a glimmer of love in his eyes.' Suddenly, Remus wanted to cry. He had managed not to at the initial break up and had mananged not to ever since. But he wasn't sure how long he could take this silence between them. He flopped down on his bed and before he knew it, his eyes were closed in sleep.  
  
"You look peaceful when you sleep, Moony." Sirius said aloud, "You look like an angel. How I wish I could make you feel peace like that. I'm not in love." he told himself sternly, watching the sleeping boy. His light brown hair fell gently across his closed eyelids. His chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Sirius worshipped the very air he breathed. 'No, I don't.' He tore his eyes away from the sleeping form and closed his own. "Understand," he spoke aloud, "I never meant to hurt you."  
  
'Was it worth it Sirius?' Remus thought to himself, awakened in the early morning but an owl for Peter. 'I miss you.' The wolf inside whimpered for Padfoot. 'I hope your happy with your vulture girlfriends. I hope you marry one and have kids and have life with them that you would never have with me.' He bitterly got up and made his way to the showers. Had he suffered enough pain yet? Would it ever end? He turned on the hot water to relieve the feelings of lonliness that were building up inside of him. And to his surprise, someone else walked into another stall and began to shower as well. 'Who's up this early?' he wondered.  
  
Sirius didn't get much sleep last night. 'It's your own fault.' He reminded himself. And he figured since everyone else was asleep he would go take an early shower. He hadn't paid any mind to the shower that was already on when he entered. He was wrapped up in his thoughts and began to think out loud, "I'm NOT in love with my best friend. I'm NOT in love with my best friend. He's not in love with me. I did NOT use him. I do NOT love him. I do NOT miss him!" he whined a little, "Moony! Why are you doing this to me!? I'm not supposed to be in love with you!" He stopped moving the second he said it. The words he would not allow himself to ever speak or even think. A new kind of revelation passed over him. "I'm in love with Remus." he said. Then, "I'M IN LOVE WITH REMUS!" Sirius laughed and his heart felt lighter. "I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!" Of course no one would hear him but he would proclaim it to the world, soon enough. He grinned and began to hum to himself.  
  
Remus stood stock still with shock in the next shower stall. Had he really just heard that? He stepped out his stall, naked and walked over to the other one, where Sirius was unmistakably humming happily. Remus reached out with a tentative hand and pulled back the curtian. Sirius had his back to him and was oblivious to the other boy's presence. He had seen the other boy naked before, many times, but never had he looked so beautiful. Remus closed the curtain and walked in. He put a hand on his shoulder and Sirius squealed like a girl and whipped around in fright. All Remus could do was laugh at him. "That's not funny!" Sirius said, indignantly. "Shut up." Remus rolled his eyes and kissed the other boy.  
  
"I'm sorry." Sirius said when they broke apart. Remus looked deep into his eyes and said, "All is forgiven and has been for a long time." Sirius felt overwhelming joy as he kissed Remus again. It was wonderful to have him back in his arms.  
  
"I won't leave you again, Moony!" he said, "I love you."  
  
Remus grinned and replied, "I love you too."  
  
~The End~  
  
A/N: Erm... another spur of the moment thing. Do you like it? 


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